& Stoppering Death
Headmaster Dumbledore has forced me here against my will. Rest assured that I will strive to make your experience as dismal as mine.
tumblrbot Asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?
Answer:I don’t understand the relevance of this idiotic question. I am in my planet. I do not need to visit it.
Anonymous Asked: lol hi
Answer:What kind of atrocious education were you given? “Lol” is not a word.
I seem to have accidentally turned on this “ask” feature and can’t figure out how to undo it…
I tried to delete this infernal contraption, only to have Dumbledore intervene and force me to post something.
I have returned from my conference.
Only to find my classroom in RUINS.
Potter, Weasley twins, Longbottom, Finnegan, and Weasley-with-the-obvious-crush-on-Granger; I will see you all in detention tomorrow evening.
And every night thereafter, until one of you admits to your wrongdoing.
I will be at a Potions Conference for the next week; Professor Dumbledore will be covering my classes until next Wednesday.
If even one cauldron looks as though it has been blown up, Finnegan, all remaining male Weasley’s, Potter, and Longbottom will find themselves in detention for the next month after I return.
Harry Potter: How Snape deals with bitches.
When people dick around in his class:
When people make fun of his hair:
When that ho Trelawney takes the last of the treacle tart:
When Slytherin always loses the fucking house cup:
Those goddamn Marauders:
But at least…
I AM NOT THAT BRAT’S FATHER, NOR WOULD I WANT TO BE.
(Source: starrtrek)
*shudder* McGongall and sex ed? Or even worse, Snape and sex ed. ‘‘Scuse me while I vomit
I find this entire depiction of myself highly insulting. I would obviously blackmail someone else into teaching that class for me.
(Source: theirishdarrencriss, via )
